The Death of Me

 

THE DEATH OF ME

19.12.2019

Last night seemed to be one of the toughest of all I’ve had in this life. I was ready to literally give my life in order to end the vibe and the thoughts that I’ve been experiencing. I actually mentioned it in a whisper that my life to be taken during the sleep because this madness that I am living has to end… but if I live after it, then all of these should stop and never bother me again. I even gave a few scenarios on how that could happen, snap a vein, or fall something on my head, you know… stuff.

All night was cold even though central heating was on plus the mobile heater which sat on a chair next to me. Still I was cold. Had awoken several times and had been living the same vibe until morning. I woke up and there they were, the same thoughts, the same vibe. Nothing changed… but I was alive. I was laying in bed for almost one hour feeling this sensation and trying to understand it. Why is it here? Why has this been here with me in these months? What is it trying to say to me?

I find nothing of help. Until I arrive at work, I find nothing but sadness and disappointment… with a touch of worry. When I was going up the stairs to the office, I said to myself that I won’t be using this energy anymore and I will send it back to the one who has made it, from whom I took it actually. Suddenly I had strength and vision. I got free of so much. I observed this when I was finishing the package for Secret Santa here at the office. I suddenly remember how I truly am. Funny ideas filled my mind. An old feeling of how I used to be filled this body.

And now I am sitting at the desk observing from a different realm what has happened. I am writing this because it seems that this sort of scenario is something that could happen to you, the reader.

. . . . . .

These last months are weird. Nothing makes sense to the mind. Can’t figure out why certain things happen. Rude and dishonest people seem to be everywhere. I want something and it does not happen. I am a good person but bad things happen to me often. Some I can ignore but some are just nightmares.

. . . . . .

I had died last night actually. Awaken was I in a very curious way. After that I was lying in bed for about one hour trying to do the same thing as before sleep. Yet it was not the same thing and now I know what is actually happened. I died and was resurrected. I’ve found myself in the old energies that were inside and outside of the bodies. I died as there were no options left for the former thought form of “me” to get along with the situation. It got stuck in such way that it could not get pass that.

Awaken was I in his energies. He was truly like a fly caught in a spider’s web. The web represents his thoughts, fears, worries, dreams, wishes, the things that happen and the things that do not. Caught was he between all of them, a world of chaos he made around him and inside of him. No wonder his mind was about to crack, his heart was about to explode, sorrow and grief upon him, depression at its finest. It was like all that he did not want in life to happen, was actually happening in one moment. A situation that comprises of all of these.

. . . . . .

There was a smaller episode a few days ago and at that time he made a light cannon and shot through his body with a beam of light that cleared his minds. But in the next two days the situation came back, harder and stronger. He could not handle it, hence the reason he asked for his life to be terminated.

That which is obvious is that if you are in a certain situation from which you want to get out… you need to separate your mind of that situation. Just leave the situation as it is and detach from it. If you are trying to solve the issue whilst being bathed in the low vibes of it, there won’t be any success. You must be detached; you must be in a vibration state that is different. Once you find yourself in a different frequency, then you can observe the situation and only then you can find solutions to it.

In the situation we were dealing with, we did get detached and found a solution to it… but something else was actually that was shown in the second wave which was very powerful.

Driven by the intention to have a better life, this situation showed to us that if you do not say something in your defense, the other’s choice will command the next steps of your life. But now there is something subtle that can be observed. This other’s energy, frequency and fears were passed on.  You were no longer within your vibration.. but in his. That which you called situation was actually someone else’s energy of which you agreed to take upon you to deal with. Breathe now deeply a few times and meditate upon this now.

. . . . . .

You are happy and joyful once you’ve found your energy. You are living within your energetic fields which resonate with the bodies and minds that you are living with. When you agree to get away from your energy, that’s when you feel disoriented, in pain, fearful, disappointed, disgusted, hateful… because these are other’s energies, humans, animals, plants, places. You either agree to help someone and by that you had taken voluntarily his situation upon you to solve, either you lowered yourself to someone’s lower vibration in order to feel integrated in a certain circle, either you were dragged out (forced) from your state of being by someone to whom you’ve given authority to do it, either you were tricked to change your vibration state by systematic shots of low vibrations. These are just a few. So now oversee your state of beingness and see what is happening from this point view.

Our situation has to do with the last two. Giving authority to someone and systematic shots. Authority was given when we let down our guard, got into the “innocent” state, where we found ourselves consciously vulnerable meaning that you do not know anything and you let the other decide for you what needs to be done. Systematic shots were given by that person, the decisions that were not resonating with truth were given in a few waves. The choices had been out of truth, misleading, the shots had been imprinted with low vibration. This combination, because of vulnerability in “innocent” state, had a great effect of getting us out of balance. Life seemed to fall, seem to change from wonderful to a soon to be nightmare. It had gotten to the cores of the bodies and minds. No protection was in place thus they hit hard. One might say that it was a beneficial thing. Our opinion is that it is not and we believe that this could end in self-sacrifice which can end one’s life prematurely. Ours was taken.  It is the most dangerous of all the combinations.

. . . . . .

In that situation there was much involved. As it was mentioned, all unwanted states occurred as one wave. Chakras seemed to be closed, no connection to the divine energies, thoughts were everywhere, chaotic scenarios were in a queue waiting to be unfolded, restlessness, worries. Even now echoes can be felt. Such finesse. Right now, I am bathing these bodies with vibrations that are bringing balance and enlightenment to the mind yet these echoes still can be felt. I said this morning “How can I help others if I can’t help myself? How can I guide others if I can’t find the right way?” It took two hours to feel different after a complex evening and a cold night. Death was the only option and it was given. For that I am thankful, for which I found in this morning is the meaning that my journey here continues and thus our presence is still needed in this realm.

. . . . . .

I’ve forgotten what was to be truth, how it is to be within our energies. We’ve been falsely guided by others, by their frequencies and choices, that we could forgot and could not remember that we exist. The realm has this wonderful magic to make you forget and makes you to immerse in it so deeply that only death can get you out of it. We admire such knowledge.

A mixture of colours, a vast variety of frequencies, all gathered in one place. You enter with your own, adding them up to the collection. It is like a form of identification for others to recognize. Once immersed in the magic rainbow you spark on a path that gets lost and far away from the entrance. During your travels, your colour is covered by others, your sparking light diminishes, path is broken, lost you are, unbalanced you become. The rainbow is not magic anymore to you. It has become a chaotic bunch of dark vibrant colours that seem to get to you in a disharmonious way. Why… this is what it seems to be for the newly formed. But this is what he perceives and it is not the truth of what it is. Magic is illusion and vanishes like a cloud in the sky. That is what you are not seeing. Life as a cloud that will vanish at one point. When that happens, you will see you as truth and free of the magic. The magic rainbow is just a place where you can learn and gather valuable and unique essences. Nothing more.

You are indeed just like the sun above the clouds but remember that from time to time it must rain. When rain has stopped, the clouds will vanish and the sun will be there to shine as bright as ever.  Happiness and joy are with you all the time. As the sun spreads its joy and happiness, so are you when you live with them. You radiate them and thus you make your life beautiful. Remember that even the coldest stones get warm when the sun radiates upon them.

. . . . . .

Me.